1) At lunch time,
sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
2) Page yourself
over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your
e mail address is: Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com mailto:Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
4) Every time someone
asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your
colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage
can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural
fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in
the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine
addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field
of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10) Reply to everything
someone says with, "That's what you think."
11) Finish all your
sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint
on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work
area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) Don't use any
punctuation
14) As often as
possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what
sex they are.
16) Specify that
your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing Along at
the opera.
18) Go to a poetry
recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where
your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after
your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite
gender.)
20) Send e-mail
to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example:
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.
21) Put mosquito
netting around your cubicle.
22) Five days in
advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and
ask if 911 is for emergencies
24) Call the psychic
hotline and just say, "Guess"
25) Have your co-workers
address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money
comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving
the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your
lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss,
"It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your
head that do"
29) Tell your children
over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you
go"
30) Everytime you
see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
This was sent
through the Divine Diva mailing list by Grace :-) Thanks Grace!!
How
to keep a healthy level of Insanity
