1. Tell the other
passenger about the time the elevator got stuck when you were on it and
it took 4 hours to get you out.
2. Grimace painfully while
smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just
shut UP!"
3. Whistle the first seven
notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
4. Crack open your briefcase
or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
5. Offer name tags to everyone
getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
6. Stand silent and motionless
in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
7. When arriving at your floor,
grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they
open by themselves.
8. Lean over to another passenger
and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
9. Greet everyone getting
on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10. On the highest floor,
hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny
you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
11. Stare, grinning, at another
passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
12. When at least eight people
have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, [gurgle and cough]....motion
sickness!"
13. Meow occasionally.
14. Bet the other passengers
you can fit a quarter in your nose.
15. Frown and mutter "gotta
go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
16. Show other passengers
a wound and ask if it looks infected.
17. Holler "Chutes away!"
whenever the elevator descends.
18. Walk on with a cooler
that says "human head" on the side.
19. Stare at another passenger
for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner
of the elevator.
20. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
21. Wear a puppet on your
hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
22. When the elevator is silent,
look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
23. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
24. Say "I wonder what all
these do" and push the red buttons.
25. Listen to the elevator
walls with a stethoscope.
26. Draw a little square on
the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is
your "personal space."
27. Take a bite of a sandwich
and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
28. Announce in a demonic
voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
29. Make explosion noises
when anyone presses a button.
30. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and
leer suggestively at other passengers.
30
Fun Things to do in an Elevator
