There's two theories to
arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
After eating an entire
bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up
until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you're full
of bull, keep your mouth shut.
If you find yourself in
a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's
chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius
to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he
thinks you need a haircut.
If you get to thinkin'
you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog
around.
Don't worry about bitin'
off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n
you think.
Good judgement comes from
experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from
the herd.
Never drop your gun to
hug a grizzly.
If you're ridin' ahead
of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still
there.
When you give a lesson
in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn
their lesson.
The best way to have a
quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at
325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it's
done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise
ignore it.
When you're throwin' your
weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the
bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
Always take a good look
at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is,
but it's critical to know what it was.
The quickest way to double
your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
A
Cowboy's Guide to Life
